One of the best lessons I have learned is that you have to believe in yourself or no one else will. People say it but they never explain it. Here is what I have learned. You have to believe in yourself and realize that all those feelings you have, anger, peace, love, hate, frustration, guilt, all of it is just a feeling. At the end of the day that is all it is. What you do with it is what makes you who you are. Fear can destroy you and can lead to anger which can lead you to frustration. So how do you deal with that? Wow, glad you asked. It is not easy but I realize that it is just a feeling. Nothing comes out of it until I act or don’t act on it. You have to ask why do I feel this way and how do I keep it or change it. When I feel fear I try to figure out why and push through it. Fear is an odd feeling and one of the few that really limit us. Anger and other negative feelings are similar. You have to figure out why you feel that way and change it. Here is one of the things I have started doing about once a week. I leave a positive note for someone to find or read. A few weeks ago I left one for a friend who was waiting for a decision. Last week I sent a note to someone who gives me a positive boost on a regular basis. To release the anger and negative pieces you have to find a way to find that inner peace and quiet the mind so you can see a way through.
As always my time working out has been my calm. Yeah it sounds weird but when I lift or run or even walk with the dog it sets my mind to quiet. I focus on my body, my form, what is happening around me and finally I settle in a place where I actually zone out. Yeah I zone out and I can usually solve some big questions in my life. Sometimes that is work sometimes it is personal but that moment of resolution and that time for reflection is so important. What I have seen over the past few weeks in doing the Whole Life Challenge is that I do not think I can eat sugar, wheat, or corn like I used to. I have felt better, healthier and oddly I feel mentally stronger than I have in a long time. Eric Thomas said it best “One day will be your day. One day can’t be your day if you give up. If you quit no day will be your day.” So don’t ever give up on yourself. You can be your hardest critic but you can also be your biggest supporter. So you quit before; well that is just an opportunity to start again. Figure out why did you quit? Once you answer that question then you can learn for that and move on. Every beginning is the end of something. What will you end to start again?
This past week was tough. I was tired, had a bunch of stuff to try and get through this week at home and on top of everything else, my partner (the stabilizing factor in my life) had to leave on a business trip. The last time he left I was attacked by flour, had a cat escape, and a few other odd things. The cats never go out the front door but Fred just decided “Well the tall chap is no longer here and I can’t take it so I must go out into the world and find him” (yes I believe my cat is British). I am still unclear as to why the flour attacked me but that feud has continued from that point forward. So before he left I was told I could not go into the basement for fear a ceiling tile will fall on my head (would not be the first time), food processer is off limits as is open fire (this has been a long standing agreement between him and my mother), and minimal time in the pantry. Of course because of my job I am always finding loop holes and I had to cook dinner. Seeing as how I am only 5’4, on a good day, cooking in my kitchen involves gymnastics. I had decided to try a Mongolian Beef recipe which called for a crock-pot on the top shelf which required a modified muscle up and a dismount. I managed that task pretty well and nothing weird happened like the fridge falling on me so I thought I was good to try to use a knife. All in all, this week was pretty much injury free, dismounts were AWESOME (sure the Russian judge might have given me a 5.7 but hey), and I got to eat all the foods that my partner hates. I did try to cut out candy with a few false starts early in the week but so far, 4 days without candy. I am also on my third week without wheat. I have started this week pretty well as I have my protein packs that taste like Mounds candy bars. The weather here has been horrible (rain almost every day) and it makes me just want to curl up on my sofa with the dog and sleep.
This week in training, well as stated above I was tired all week long. Even when I went to the box I was tired. Friday was a fun day (I felt like I was in middle school and we got to play dodge ball on Friday). We had a challenge of how fast can you row 500 meters and you have 3 tries. Of course I got my best time on the first effort (2:00 flat) but I got close on the third time with 2:03. I did not go to the gym this weekend as we had a baseball game for the boy (first one I have seen him play since he was in high school and he is now a senior). We also got rain free days on Saturday and Sunday so I wanted to spend some time with dog out in the yard. By Thursday and Friday I felt like I had more energy. Today I was tired again but I did not get to sleep until almost 11pm. Here is hoping that this week will be nicer for weather so I can start building out my vegetable garden outdoors instead of in the greenhouse. I also have a few items for the yard where I can use my newly found muscles (maybe push the stone fence back in place and maybe some clean up of the side yard).
Wheat wheat everywhere and not an ounce for me… It is my 6th day without wheat and I have just now gotten to the point where I do not want a donut/cracker/sandwich/burrito. I have found ways to get food at work without having wheat. I almost slipped up when they had Italian Wedding Soup (one of my favorites because it has tiny meatballs and I pretend I am Godzilla) but then I noticed the pasta. Oh you are tricky Italian Wedding Soup. I have gotten to where I cannot eat as much as I did before since I am eating more nutritionally dense food. My belly bloat has gone down some but that will take a while before it is gone. Here is my goal, I want to be down 15 lbs before I give myself a treat (I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!!) and I want to work out 6 days a week. I have also started a “How Foodie are you” within my circle of friends to see who can make the best food porn pictures. Watch out people because my partner is going out of town for a few days so it will be a wild food party with brussels sprouts and other cruciferous veggies! Here is my dinner from last night (even the little human that is my daughter enjoyed it):
There will be more to come tomorrow with the WOD’s for this week. Sneak peek: I worked out with The Hulk on Wednesday!
Yeah I made it through Easter without eating tons of candy (managed my jellybean intake to 10 – 15 beans)! Anyone who knows me how hard it is for me to turn down chocolate, cake, ice cream, and of course jellybeans. I have been known to eat so many jellybeans I get sick (I wonder why I gained weight). It was tough of course but today marks day 3 without bread or wheat. This morning on my journey in I just thought donuts are delicious, breakfast burrito would be perfect on this brisk morning (it was 20ish degrees), or how about a muffin? Amber waves of grain but none for me! The first few days are horrible so I just have to make it through this week. I have organic yogurt and gluten free granola to help me through. More on the adventure in no grain land later this week.
Keidy was an awesome subject on Saturday and I even got a few pictures of Chris. Here are some photos I got. I would love any feedback you have…